Hyphen and the Beardie Bites Bucket!

Hyphen is the wrong lizard. I was purchasing a chilli red dragon, having seen the amazing colours they grew into… but instead of a bright red female, I got sent a leatherback blood dragon by mistake. He’s… he’s ginger. To compound the issue, recently my vet noted “he is all sort of… out of proportion, isn’t he!”, with his chunky great tail, short dumpy body and deformed skull which has given him poor eyesight, due to his left eye bulging.

But don’t get me wrong – when I met him, I fell in love. I couldn’t send this tiny, idiotic little boy back. Yeah, that’s the other thing – he’s as thick as a brick. A derpy-herp. My vet agrees that he’s a “bit developmentally challenged, though he certainly seems happy enough”. And yes, that’s his Chrifsmas tree he has got stuck in. Upside down.

He has frequently embarrassed himself with similar antics such as falling in love with a carpet:

Falling in love with someone else’s empty food bowl (Mocha was quite offended!):

And being terribly embarrassed when I caught him at our old house, flirting with the hearth stone. He was stroking it, showing off to it, snuggling at it…

Nothing seemed to suit the little chap, namewise – and as you might have noticed, most of my dragons have elaborate, multi-barrelled names. As a temporary measure, we nicknamed him “Hyphen”, until we found the right name for him. And… well, it stuck. It suited him.

Oh, and he has a superpower that makes up for his derpishness – climbing.

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